2006-02-06 - 11:59 a.m.
Crap. It's back.
OK. That was just weird. And it's not the first time it's happened.
Out of the blue, for no good reason, I was thinking about my first grade teacher the other day. She was a nice, Aunt Bee type teacher, about whom I have few memories, but no bad ones. (unlike the scary art teacher who yelled at me and made me cry. But I digress)
So I'm looking at the online paper today, and damned if she didn't just die. Like I said....not the first time that's happened. She was 87, which is so weird to me, because when I was in first grade, she seemed like she was a hundred then, but she would have only been in her mid 50s. Wonder how many kids she taught to read and write in her 33 years in the classroom....
Can I just say, depression sucks? And really, this isn't the "quite whining and cheer up" kind of depression. This is the clinical, diagnosed, medicated and therapized depression, as real as a broken leg or diabetes.
And it sucks. Since meds and therapy, it's been tons better, but once in awhile, boom...it comes back.
Yeah. Like now.
I had this thought yesterday...I just...just...I want to call in sick for a week. I want to stay in my bed and stare blankly at the tv. I want to play the depressed breakdown card, which I have never played. I have never missed work due to this. But man...I could right now.
So. Maybe it's a little PMS mixed in there. I'll keep on keepin' on, and eventually, things will be better.
I have a massage tonight, which can't hurt, right? (OK, I know, someone who just whined about money shouldn't be having a massage. OR the cut and color I'll be having later in the week. But whatever. Ha! I snarked on myself!)
And it is sunny today.
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