| 2006-02-06 - 11:59 a.m.
Crap. It's back.
OK. That was just weird. And it's not the first time it's happened. Out of the blue, for no good reason, I was thinking about my first grade teacher the other day. She was a nice, Aunt Bee type teacher, about whom I have few memories, but no bad ones. (unlike the scary art teacher who yelled at me and made me cry. But I digress) So I'm looking at the online paper today, and damned if she didn't just die. Like I said....not the first time that's happened. She was 87, which is so weird to me, because when I was in first grade, she seemed like she was a hundred then, but she would have only been in her mid 50s. Wonder how many kids she taught to read and write in her 33 years in the classroom.... Anyway. Can I just say, depression sucks? And really, this isn't the "quite whining and cheer up" kind of depression. This is the clinical, diagnosed, medicated and therapized depression, as real as a broken leg or diabetes. And it sucks. Since meds and therapy, it's been tons better, but once in awhile, boom...it comes back. Yeah. Like now. I had this thought yesterday...I just...just...I want to call in sick for a week. I want to stay in my bed and stare blankly at the tv. I want to play the depressed breakdown card, which I have never played. I have never missed work due to this. But man...I could right now. So. Maybe it's a little PMS mixed in there. I'll keep on keepin' on, and eventually, things will be better. I have a massage tonight, which can't hurt, right? (OK, I know, someone who just whined about money shouldn't be having a massage. OR the cut and color I'll be having later in the week. But whatever. Ha! I snarked on myself!) And it is sunny today.
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