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| 2003-05-27 - 8:19 p.m.
Musings of a Fat Chick
Got a buttload of stuff done today, and hardly had to interact with anyone. Bonus! The engineer put a new CD/ROM drive in my computer at work, and now I can burn CDs at my desk. The old drive supposedly would burn 'em, but it never worked. The new one works! Wheee! Seriously, that is a HUGE time saver. Huge. And it is one less thing I need the studio for. Husband and I made it to the Y yet again today. We're working on three weeks of good excercise habit. So yay us. And I hate to say it, but I DO feel better. A little firmer, a little stronger. My knees even hurt less already. When we went through orientation with our trainer, I couldn't use the squat machine, because it gave me such a pain in my knees. Now I can. I have to be really careful, but I can do it. But here's what is bugging me.....do you know ANYONE who was a fattie (I mean a REAL fattie, not a "lose 20 pounds" fattie) who had managed to get in shape and stay that way? I mean, except for Oprah, who has a staff of people cooking her food and getting her ass outta bed and on the treadmill. In the past month, I have gone from pretty much zero activity to regular, several times a week activity. Now I'm on pace for three days a week of weightlifting, one yoga class, and assorted walking and biking. PLUS better eating. No, not a "diet", but at least twice a week I'm having a smoothie drink from the Y (400 calories) instead of my usual thousand calories from Taco Hell or wherever. Also, in an effort to deal with our financial issues, Husband and I are eating in more. Now, wouldn't you think if a person went from total sloth to ANY activity, there'd be some kind of weight loss? I mean, my goodness, aren't I just ripe for "dramatic results?" Nada. The jeans are still tight. I see lots of big people at the Y. See lots of 'em walking around the golf course at the park (2 miles). Part of me really does think all the claptrap about losing weight is just that....claptrap and a myth. MOST of the people I know are the way they are.....just cuz. My thinner friends aren't workout fanatics or health food nuts. They're just....thinnner. Likewise most of the heavy people I know AREN'T sitting at home eating whole chickens as a snack. I think, for me to be a weight and a shape that society deems acceptable, I would have to be Oprah. I would have to be able to pay people to make all my meals and put my ass on the treadmill twice a day. And that scares me. Because I feel better, and the exercise is good for me. It allows Husband and me to spend some time together, and going at noon gets us out of work for a while. But I feel like no matter how hard I would work, no matter how "well" I would do with my exercise, I will ALWAYS be a fat chick. And what I hate the most is the assumptions people will make about my laziness or my eating habits, or what have you. Show me fat people who have been "cured" without surgery. Show me fat people who have followed all the "rules" and aren't still fat. When is the medical establishment going to have a look at THOSE people and try to figure out what's going on, instead of telling us we must be recording our food and exercise amounts incorrectly, and giving us the old "calories in/calories out" lecture. Show me.
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