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2001-09-03 - 12:25 p.m.
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Ahhh. A day off. Hooray! Nothing going on here. I'm really quite boring. Lots of "shoulds"...should clean, should do yardwork, etc, etc. Don't wanna. I vacuumed yesterday...including the stairs, which I HATE with a hairy passion. God I hate vacuuming. I don't think my vacuum sucks very well. (which means it sucks. or something) There's so dang much cat hair....I need to get some super turbo heavy sucking industrial vac. Beloved says that dream house has a central vacuum....cool, say I, so I can quit vacuuming the cord.

We slept in a bit today and then went out for breakfast....yum. Then we went into his office for a few minutes. Of course he found something was wrong, which irritated him. And of course, I felt bad/responsible/codependent. Weird. When I came upstairs to get on the computer, I discovered I hadn't disconnected from the 'net last night, and had three calls from work on the ICM. Oopsie. So after logging in, I managed to hear the one message that got left, which, thank goodness, wasn't anything urgent. I hate the expectation that I'm supposed to be around all the time. If this is an "on call" job, then give me a beeper and pay me for carrying it. But this general expectation that I somehow am just supposed to be "around" when I'm not at work does nothing but irritate me and make me feel guilty.

Boy, do I have guilt issues!

Beloved is coming over later for a little quality time and dinner. We cook on fire tonight. I need to go to the grocery for provisions. I think I might make baked beans.....they are AWESOME. Two cans pork and beans. A cup each of brown sugar and ketchup. Throw bacon on top. Bake for two hours (350 ish, I think). They are SOOOOO good! And easy, which is the important thing to me. I am not a cook. Also have some real tomatoes, which I love.

ugh. should should should. I'm gonna should myself to death!

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