2006-05-07 - 10:09 p.m.
If you wound up in a wheelchair, she'd wonder how that would affect her....
That was the wisdom of a friend of both DQ and me, when I related to her the topic of yesterday's entry . "You have to remember, she doesn't see the world in terms of anyone but her. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her".
Husband said the same thing.
And they are right.
But I'm still pissed off.
However.....it's led me to bigger and more complicated contemplating.
Like....how come she doesn't suffer negative personal and professional ramifications from this behavior? How come she's a "higher ranking" friend for J than I? And at the risk of sounding like I'm in grade school...it doesn't seem fair. I am a kind and generous person to my friends. She is selfish and grabby and has to make everything about her. Why is she not ostracized? Why don't people find that behavior unacceptable and find her to be someone they don't want to be around?
So the more I think about it, the more it seems that my fears about this job change are going to come true. The org chart doesn't actually have me IN CHARGE of anyone. So......what...."we're giving her this title, but you don't have to listen to her."???
And I'm not some kind of dictator. But when the rubber hits the road and a decision must be made, in a NORMAL radio station, the PD does it. I'm going to get to take more crap duties.
Not in the greatest of moods this evening. Just brewed some magic sleepy tea, because it'll be a long and stewing night otherwise.
Worked on the porch. Sanded. Scraped. I am a wee bit annoyed that The Menfolk stuck with their idea of sanding and grinding the paint off the pillars. Yesterday, we finally used MY favorite...Zip Strip. Guess what? It worked great.
I refinished my first piece of furnitue when I was about 12, so it's not like I was making this up. Zip Strip. Not flammable, and that shit REMOVES PAINT. It also burns the hell outta you if you so much as get a drop on you. But noooo, The Menfolk, Husband at the helm, pooh poohed my idea.
Annoyed with Husband too. Probably unfairly. But annoyed nonetheless.
We spent FOREVER in Home Depot today. STARING AT MOULDING. We found the right aisle, I said "I want this for this part and this for this part". He had to stand in the aisle and contemplate and think and think and study, and I'm sure wander through every possible bad outcome if we chose....GASP....the WRONG....GASP...moulding.
And oh god. Buying the paint. He totally left that up to me. What brand "I don't know, I thought you knew what you wanted". Yeah, at MENARD'S. This is HOME DEPOT. Fine, I told the guy, "Behr, exterior. I want that color in a satin and those in flat. Do you have porch floor paint on the shelf?"
Not wild about the one color...too gray. Might have to do a redo. too bad we have two gallons of it, and it's non returnable....
But anyway....Husband. He's just bugging me. I feel like every question out of his mouth is a stupid one that proves he doesn't pay attention.
Sigh. Just a phase, I'm sure. And it's a stressful time right now for me, I guess. Tomorrow we head to Indy so we can hop a plane on Tuesday morning for MA and my aunt's funeral. Then maybe we can have some normal for awhile.
Someone remind me. What IS normal?
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