2006-05-05 - 5:55 p.m.
They smilin' in your face
All the time they want to take your place
"Bonus" second entry of the day.
When. WHEN WHEN WHEN will I learn?
Why is it when I decide to trust in another woman, to let my guard down and confide, I ALWAYS GET SCREWED? Is it just me, or does it happen to everyone? Is every woman two faced and backstabbing?
Boss and I had another talk about my job change. He called me to his office and showed me the new org chart.
Then he told me of a recent exchange with Drama Queen.
He had been in my cube talking about my new job stuff, and she overheard. So trundled on down to his office and pretty much lit into him.
"That sounds like she's getting a promotion. Did you ever think *I* might be interested in that job? I have been busting my ass in the news department and I could be PD".
You know what? Fuck her. And you know why? Because when I TOLD her about this PD stuff on MONDAY, wanting to use her as a sounding board and seeking her input, her reaction was....underwhelming. The thing she said that was most memorable was "Anyone could do that job".
Yeah. Fuck her again.
I am SO SICK of working with the Ethel Mermans of the world, who are always making sure the spotlight is on them. Always too big for the room, always the smartest person in the room, always the martyr, the victim, the smartest person in the room, if ONLY everyone else would just REALIZE it.
OK, little miss anyone could do that job....tell me....
What are the Public Radio C0re Values? You know, the basic tenents by which we operate?
And how can you be fucking PD when you have said "I don't want calls after hours and on weekends, and making me be on call is a dealbreaker."???
Oh, and by the by, it's really hard to be a PD of a classical music station when YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CLASSICAL MUSIC. I'm not a scholar, but I hosted classical programs for five years, and know how to frickin' pronounce Mozart.
Did I say fuck you? Because fuck you.
Gah. And then this brings up all my self doubt issues about how I never earn what I get, that it's favors, or luck, or whatever. You know, it would just be cool if SOMEONE reacted in a supportive way. In a "huh, I think she'll do a good job" way. Nope. Not where I work. Where I work, any change for someone has everyone else looking for how they've been screwed in the process.
Because I'm completely lost under the glare of the spotlight she constantly puts on herself, she has NO IDEA what I do. NO IDEA how much shit I get done on a daily basis. From home, from the office, from hotel rooms while ON VACATION. And there is NO way she's got the technical acumen I have. Nuh uh. THAT's pretty obvious when she calls for help and asks the wrong people the wrong things.
But god. It just PISSES me off. I THOUGHT we were part of a good team. I THOUGHT we had each other's backs. But again, no. Again, I trust, again I'm screwed. People really ARE that self involved.
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