| 2006-04-18 - 6:44 p.m.
Stewing
Today was a good day for shrinkage. I kind of purged on the woman. So much on my mind. So much worry. And worry is so stupid, because it's not like it actually has any kind of effect on things. Shrinker did help me work through my feelings about my aunt's impending death. My dad has said that if the timing of things isn't right, it's ok to not make the funeral. But there's a part of me that thinks...no, it's not ok. But you can't plan when nothing is decided. When I talked to dad yesterday, he said to just go ahead with my plans. So I will. And we will see what transpires. Blood test back from dr. White count i s UP since last time (about 10 days ago) So. Seeing hematologist on Friday. I'm scared. All I'm seeing online is leukemia. I'm getting scared. And I am going to stop surfing. And I'm going to remind myself that my dr is CAUTIOUS. But I'm still scared.
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