| 2005-08-09 - 11:40 a.m.
I don't have Attention Deficit Dis---Blue Car!
Something I've been turning over in my mind for awhile, and meaning to bring up with my shrink, was whether it was possible that I have ADD. I resisted, I think, because it's so "trendy". Every energetic and/or bratty kid is labeled and medicated. And I certainly didn't have any major behavioral issues as a kid, nor would anyone EVER classify me as hyper. But still....I can't concentrate on ready anything longer than an article in People. I don't finish things. I have *ahem* issues *ahem* with organization. So while I was turning that over in my brain, I reconnected with someone and read some of her writings on being an adult with ADD. And there I was reading along (though not in one session, natch....), ticking off similarities between my experiences and hers. Looking back on my childhood now, I kinda go "huh. I wonder". More reading. More lightbulbs. I have CLASSIC ADD sleep patterns, and pretty much always have. I'm not necessarily a night owl as much as I think I need to stay up late enough to totally wind my brain down before I can fall asleep. Do I fidget? Huh. Yeah, I do, as a matter of fact. Am I sensitive to labels and tags in my clothes? YES. I think those Hanes no tag underwears are the BEST idea. My school records are full of "Colz does not work to her potential". I kicked ass on standardized tests, but was pretty much a B student. But here's the thing....if I was INTO the subject, I did fine without a ton of work. If I had trouble with it...not so much. I tried and tried and TRIED to get math, and I couldn't. And a kid who is just...."not smart" doesn't make Bs and As in advanced physical science classes and Ds in math...there would be more consistency, right? And messiness? Oh lordy. My pic of my flowers from last week is just a teeny tiny glimpse into my cluttered world. How many times did my mom call my room a "pigsty" or call me "lazy"? How many weekends was I told I couldn't go anywhere until my room was clean? Guess what else? People with ADD suffer from....DEPRESSION. Yeah, imagine that. And my job would be an ADD dream job. A billion little tasks, and they can all be completed whenever and however, as long as the deadlines are met. So. Food for disorganized thought, that is for sure.
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