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2005-06-23 - 12:25 a.m.
Mind is racing

Gaaaaah! I HATE insomnia. Sheesh. Husband gets in bed, and he's out within seconds of hitting the pillow.

Me, I'm waiting for the moon phase to be right, for the magnetic poles of the earth to be correct, the temperature and humidity to be exactly right, and THEN I fall asleep. My consolation is that once I am asleep, I am GONE.

Good thing, too. As of tomorrow morning, Husband is one half of the morning show duo. The station fired the morning show host today, and Husband gets to do it now for "a couple of weeks". Anyone care to wager how long those two weeks will be? Actually, I'm pleased that they can count on him for an important spot like that. However, he DAMN well better get compensated, and he sure as hell better be getting home in the afternoon. Because Mean Wife will really show herself if she's waiting dinner for a man who went to work at 4 am and isn't home at 6:30.

OK, part of the reason I can't sleep is because of my racing mind. We did a second look at the house this evening. I really like it. husband likes it. A LOTTA house for the price. An historically significant house. I could make an offer. But I'm not going to talk Husband into it. He is going to have to conclude on his own. I've been trying to help him pinpoint and articulate his reluctance. I mean "didn't you see the alligators in the basement?!?" is one thing "ehhh, I'm just scared because it's a change" is another. But I can see us in this house. Oh, we'll rattle around, at least for awhile. It's kind of huge, especially for two people. In fact, I have a wee bit of guilt for considering such a big place. We shouldn't need that much space. I feel like we should leave it for someone who "needs" the space.

But if they need it so much, they would have bought it, right?

Needs a new furnace. Dunno how much that will cost. The Flintstones era model in the basement is OLD. The owners left the gas bills out for us...2 grand a year to heat that place. I'm thinking a new furnace would pay for itself in 5 years, if not sooner. My plan is to call the hvac company (who services our furnace and the Flintstone furnace) tomorrow and ask if they can give us any kind of ballpark on replacement.

Garage is also sketchy. Not horrid, but not so good. But OK.

But paint, carpet, etc, would really make it into home quickly. New fridge and stove. And boy oh boy do I have plans for the master bath. Right now, it's a weird dressing room area with a sink, then the shower and toilet are around the corner in a cubby. TONS of space to gut and make into Fancy Bathroom. I just keep reminding Husband that bathroom and kitchen remodels pay off. Would like to keep the retro bath retro. But it needs new tile. Stuff can get really cracked in 90 years.

Then I think about getting this place ready to show and sell, and I get kind of panicky feeling. Oh god that basement. And I feel a little sad at the thought of selling this place. I bought it on my own...no possibility of Husband anywhere....I did it on my OWN. It's still in my name, as a matter of fact. And it's adorable inside. I've put so much into it. There's not a day that goes by that I don't look at my new living room ceiling and beautiful paint job and smile. But I can call Jim The Painter to do the new living room, right?

Hard to know what is right. But I don't think buying this house would be WRONG. But oh god what a ton of work, as moving always is.

Man. I wish I could sleep.

2 comments so far
Kim - 2005-06-23 10:35:42
Insomniacs of the world unite! Got no sleep last night myself. Sorry about that. Maybe your husband doesn't want to insult you by saying all the things wrong with the place you love? You've pinpointed the problems yourself but maybe he doesn't want to say it? I mean, I could call my mom a mean name but god forbid anyone else did. Maybe it's the same concept? New job for husband sounds fun even if it is short-term. I'd love to say "I'm outta here" at 2 pm, even if it meant getting up at 4 am, especially if it was short-term.
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radiogurl - 2005-06-23 21:32:53
I'm the same way - but I did find that melatonin really helps. Take a tablet about half an hour before bedtime and it'll help immensely. And unlike sleeping pills, you won't wake up groggy. Just get 'em at Wally World; they're about $9 a bottle elsewhere, and at Wally World they're under $4 a bottle.
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