| 2004-05-22 - 9:51 a.m.
vacation state of mind
Alrighty then. Yeah, I suck at updating lately. On Monday we are outta here....Vegas, bayeeeeee. Am looking most forward to it. I spent the week at work putting together a huge Ops Manual that I THINK should cover most problems that will pop up while I am gone. If not, well, they can jolly well punt. Did some shopping the other day, in preparation for vacation. I'm at a weird size right now...the smallest fat lady size is a little big, but the biggest regular size doesn't fit right either. Plus, the giant hooters mess everything up...I think I'm buying tops at least one size larger to make room for the girls....which is discouraging, because it makes me look frumpier than I really am. Wow. Am I shallow. Anyway...I think part of the reason I'm not journaling so much is because the therapy is working. I guess I used this as therapy....and my shrink wants me to continue journaling, though she prefers hand written. But I feel like I work out a lot of stuff in my sessions, and I don't need to write about it here. It feels repetitive or something. But she did ask my why I think therapy is working. I said one of the things I felt was that she was giving me "permission" to be who I am, etc, etc.....I'm finding it kind of a validation of sorts. And I really like her style because she's definitely not about dredging up and living in and blaming the past. She's more about acknowledge it, deal with it, move on. Which I like. One of the things I was worried about in going ito therapy was that I was going to have to dredge up all the unplesantness of my kidhood and be mad at my parents for fucking me up....and I didn't want to do that. My mom already felt like she'd messed up when she found out both my sister and I were on antidepressants....overall, they did a good job, they loved us, they took care of us, they didn't abuse us in any way. They just packed some baggage....that's no crime. So I will end this entry with a bit of email from Husband's friend, who was best man at our wedding. He and I are emailing about something work related (he's trying to get me a voice gig), and I mentioned our vacation....his reply to me almost made me cry. ME: ....can you BELIEVE that workaholic Husband is going to Las Vegas?!?! I'm doing my best to get him to actually use vacation time....the muckity mucks at (Husband's work) must HATE me. "Before he met HER, he'd work all the time and never take vacation". Oh well...at times I'm not that fond of them.....heh.... He said: Before he met HER, he had no reason to do a lot of things. Isn't his life so much richer now...and healthier? Have fun and don't come back millionaires...I'd be so ticked. Isn't that sweet?
1 comments so far
|