| 2003-06-19 - 8:37 p.m.
Bad day
This is NOT a good day. I don't know why, exactly, but I feel like I did in the days before I was on the prozac. Everything seems so hard. I think it's mostly diet/exercise related, and it's all coming home to roost. I pigged out on tacos tonight at dinner. I am so tired of being hungry. I finish lunch, (usually a 6 incher from Subway) and I'm still hungry. By dinner time, I am ravenous. Today I went to the gym after work, since I had a meeting at the noon hour, and by the time I got back, I was just....grumpier than all get out. I still am. Doesn't help that while at the gym, I whacked my leg on a machine and have a BIG bruise forming on my shin. That will be lovely. So I'm just in a state. I don't really get it. I want to yell at my husband. I want to give up this whole self improvement thing....because, again, I feel like it's fruitless. And I'm scared of it. I'm scared I'll do it. I'm scared I'll fail. I'm scared I'll succeed and then gain all the weight back.
And oh yeah...there's a suspected rapist hanging out on the path where I ride my bike. Gotta get mace.
Right now, I really hate who I am. Exercise done: weight circut
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