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2003-04-27 - 10:44 a.m.
Back on the 'Zac

Yep, today I will start taking the Prozac again. And that's OK.

Major flip out yesterday. MA-JOR. Neighbors probably thought I was screaming at my husband.

OK--when I left work on Friday, I had NO indication, in writing, by phone, by cryptogram, nothing, that we were going to have a volunteer in to run the station on Saturday morning. So I set things up to run in automation until 5, when I would be in.

You can see what's coming, can't you?

Volunteer came in, everything went to hell, it was my responsibility. That's the short version.

The long version involves an incorrect progam log (one thing that is NOT my responsibility!), four phone calls from the station, and a major serious flip out, complete with yelling and screaming and obscenities. I didn't yell at anyone work related, but Husband was a little askeered of me. Hell, I'm embarassed about it, and have apologized profusely. I can't even describe the absolute FURY I felt. The RAGE. The desire to MAKE THIS PAIN AND AGGRAVATION STOP. I wanted to call my boss right then and there and QUIT. I wanted to say "fuck you all. Figure it out on your own." But I didn't. I screamed and yelled and cried and then took care of business. THEN I went out for my girly lunch with J the Artist.

And here's an example of completely non productive message leaving:

(Diva was leaving a message)

"I'm looking for Colz. But, I guess you're not there. So. We'll....see what happens, I guess. I'm sure you're listening".

AAARGGH.

Does that tell you ONE DAMN THING? I mean.

So. Where WAS I when I was supposed to be listening to the radio and standing by for a phone call? We were out at the greenhouse, spending wedding presents! Bought over 200 bucks worth of plants, and it was THRILLING, because we still have gift certificate value left. Bought a bunch of perennials....lillies, including my Favorite Flower Ever, the Stargazer, daisies, and some other stuff I can't quite remember. Bought a couple of flats of impatiens for the beds, and petunias for the baskets, and some herbs, as well as three tomato plants and two pepper plants. CAN'T WAIT to plant 'em....but last year I planted too early and everything got frostbitten. They nursery lady said if the perennials haven't bloomed, we could probably plant them now. But we need more soil....our soil here is SO crappy, I have to keep adding peat moss and good old fashioned planting soil every year. Maybe in 20 years, it'll be amended somewhat. We'll see.

Think we might be going to a home show this weekend. Gotta get at least ONE fun thing in on my ONE day off (it's off so far....I still may have to go in for something....)

See ya

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