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I Read These: loriville
trancejen
la-the-sage
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Who ARE these people?

2002-12-05 - 5:45 p.m.
Something completely different....

I am angry right now, but it's not my usual angry.

Here's a preface: I am still participating in an online wedding web site. (one I haven't been banned from....) And there are TWO threads right now from women who are involved with abusive men. One of these threads is 30+ pages long, with more than EIGHT HUNDRED POSTS. But none of us really "understand" the situation. The husband really is sweet, under all the profanity, manipulation and mindfuck....

I am angry at those women. Those women and others like them, who make excuses for their abusers' behavior. It's bullshit. No, I don't think it's the victims' fault, but at a certain point...if you don't choose to walk away, you're choosing to stay. I mean, hit me once, shame on you, hit me twice, shame on me. Sometimes I think abusers grow more violent because they're never given a limit. They aren't told to knock it off the first time they tell her to "shut the fuck up". Or if they ARE told to knock it off, they have no repercussions for doing it again. Neither of these women has been dealing with physical violence. Yet. And their thinking is totally fucked. "Well, if I didn't use that tone of voice with him, he wouldn't get so angry". "He had a bad childhood, and he's emotionally damaged." "Oh, he really loves me. He always apologizes."

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT.

What kind of fucked up women think it's better to have an asshole abuser man than no man at all???

If you're reading this right now and being verbally abused and falling into this "if only I could do , he wouldn't get so upset" pattern of thinking, GET OUT.

And even if these guys weren't "abusive", they are ASSHOLES. Why do people stay with assholes? At first sign of assholeness, women (it's usually women who are abused) need to kick him to the curb. And don't tell me you didn't know he was a jerk until after you married him. Please. Unless it's an arranged marriage and you've never met.... But one of these threads is a woman talking about her fiance. Yep, he's a verbally abusive asshole, and SHE KNOWS IT, and she feels some sort of duty to marry him, because she can't "abandon" him.

I thank whatever diety there is every single day for my husband. No, he's not perfect, (nor I) but he would NEVER tell me to shut up, or fuck off, or throw things at me. And these are things some women think are part of "normal" relationships.

Grrrr.

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