| 2002-06-22 - 10:53 a.m.
Wheeee
I am starving. I have been watching the Food Network for two days now. Food Porn. Commericals come on, and I start murmuring "mmmm. piiiiizzzzaaaa". "ohhhhhh. steaaaaaaak". I think I am feeling better. I decided I really don't care for jello. Pudding I like, jello, not so much. I'm a little scared to eat real food, but getting so hungry that I may just have to bite the bullet and eat something. The sad thing is, if I could keep up this diet of Mr. Mistys and frozen lemonade, I could lose weight. But here's the thing...only if I ate that stuff, which is like eating nothing. There was a debate on a mailing list I am on about SW airlines "new" 'Fat people must buy two seats' policy. And I am amazed at the IGNORANT attitude people are exhibiting toward those of us who weigh more than we "should". First of all, I CAN fit in my airplane seat, and the problem with overlap comes not from my fat ass, but from my wide shoulders. But in this day and age to read otherwise well educated, intelligent people saying things like "If they want to be fat, they should pay extra". WANT to be fat? Do I WANT to be the size I am? Hell no. I WANT to be a size 9. And what people who have never struggled with their weight (and I don't mean the "I wish I could lose 10 pounds" club) don't understand is that it ISN'T just "don't have fries" or "stop eating cookies". I have dieted, just as any heavy person has. And here's what I have learned about MY body...for ME to be a socially acceptable size, I would have to live a life of food obsessed, disordered eating. I would have to not eat. Trust me. I've done the Richard Simmons meal card diet, the fat gram diet, I even did Atkins....the only thing that marginally worked for me, but is very difficult to follow long term (for me). But is that what we have come to? That it is better for a person to live a life of deprivation, obsessive thinking and unhealthy habits so they aren't god forbid, FAT? This genius who expressed her opinion that fat people "want" to be fat also noted that most of the thin people she knows are not "food obsessed over-exercisers". Duh. That's because their body types are naturally thinner. They are the types who CAN cut out ice cream for a month and drop five or ten. Most people with weight problems don't have bodies that work that way. Nor do most of us sit around eating whole chickens for lunch. Yes. I CAN pack it away sometimes. But for the most part, I eat normal portions. Too much fast food, yeah. Not enough veggies. But am I sitting at home eating a chicken, a box of stuffing, a quart of ice cream and a bag of Oreos for dinner? No. And I wish that we could move away from the stereotype that heavy people are all lazy, stupid gluttons who don't bathe. Wow. Rambling. But I'm sure you're glad it's not about teeth and pain and whining, right? I am still hungry. Maybe I should see if I can find a whole chicken and a dozen eggs....
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