| 2002-05-15 - 4:15 p.m.
A massage with scented oil. And Issues.
Who wouldn't love my Beloved after that? He is wonderful. The massage was delicious. He didn't even demand I reciprocate. (Oh, don't worry, he gets taken care of just fine, thankyouverymuch) ;) So why do I still have security issues? He treats me like gold. In his 50 years on earth, I'm the only one he's ever proposed to. So why do I still feel insecure? So what if he still talks to one ex and works with another? He's marrying ME. I am the one with the diamond ring. What brought this on? Well, see yesterday's entry about PMS. PMS time is always rife with depression and insecurity. Also, last night he had a work dinner....it was a reward, since the station had done so well in the last ratings book. Well, he works with EvilDisgustingBitch Ex, and it just rankled me that he was having an evening where SHE was present. I was more rankled when he was an hour later than he said he'd be. But he works hard, and he deserves any kind of perk or reward the place gives him. However, my evening would have been better had he reported that she choked on her steak. I usually don't "hate". It's kind of a wasted effort, and it's not like I can REALLY put a whammy on the object of my hatred, so said object wanders around oblivious, while I wander around poisoning myself with hate. This person, OTOH, I want bad things to happen to. Painful, prolonged, uncomfortable things. She was Beloved's Transitional Woman, and she fucked him over and treated him like shit. Then when he began dating ME, she started to move in on him again. And any time she's met me, she's been bitchy. And I hate that he works with her and sees her every day. I have more negative feelings about this creature than about his long term ex. Though I DO have issues there, as well. But long term Ex is....removed. She's in a different city, and while they still speak, it's not like she's AROUND. But WHY do I have these issues? I know Beloved. There is no hankus pankus. (cripes, he's 50 years old...he CAN'T be keeping more than one woman happy, and, ahem, he keeps me VERY happy) He's committed to MARRY me, for goodness sake. Argh. I'm driving myself nuts with this. In other news....work is still ugh. I just can't STAND Wendesdays....they being with staff meeting, where I can look around the room and think about how most of the people there annoy the shit out of me. The Drama Queen makes EVERYTHING about her. EVERYTHING. So that pisses me off. Tiny Shorts is just......obnoxious. The Diva is The Diva and needs to shut up. I of course, am perfect, and never annoy people. Wednesdays also annoy me because Tiny Shorts never leaves. And he's really annoying when he's around all day. He's gotta be going soon, doesn't he?
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