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2002-04-30 - 8:45 a.m.
Don't make me go

Not much to talk about. I think this may be another job whine. I feel like such a jerk for whining about my job all the time...it's like change the record already, yanno?

Oh well.

I fucking hate my job. HATEHATEHATEHATE it. OK, so it's not as bad as, say, working in a foundry, but I still hate it. I'm sick of the lack of respect, I'm sick of the atmosphere in which adults act like toddlers, I'm sick of how everyone's "great idea" means "here colz, more for you to do". Every time a chicken comes home to roost in that place, it comes to roost in my office. I'm sick of constant interruptions, whether I'm working at the computer or eating my lunch. I am sick of the whole godforsaken thing.

And I don't know what to do.

I never wanted to be A Career Woman. I thought I was supposed to want that. But I don't. I don't have the ambition. I don't like the pressure and responsibility. I just want my nice little job to do every day. But I don't have that. I don't know how to get it.

I love my boss, I really do, 90% of the time. But sometimes, he drives me nuts. Like if there's any opportunity for special news type stuff. Say with the upcoming primary elections. He wants us to all of a sudden turn into the newsbeacon of the midwest. Well guess what? There are two of us, and we both have airshifts, so it's not like we can go running around doing reporting. And for what I get paid, I'm not willing to devote any more time and energy to that soul sucking place. The rewards aren't there. Listeners don't care.

Argh. I'm trying to psych myself up to go to the place. I almost can't bear it.

In other news....there's not much going on. Ordered wedding invitations. That was cool. They should be here in another week or two. The thank you notes have my new name on the front. Freaky. Had voice mail from the church organist. He is going to call back so we can discuss the music for our wedding...which leads me to believe he is free on our wedding day, which is completely awesome. He is AMAZING. I did some research last week on some Copland music. Since the music all has to be sacred, I set about finding out if "The Promise of Living" from the opera "The Tender Land" is, in fact sacred. (God, I love the internet!) And right there, in the lyrics, it says "be grateful to the Lord for his blessing" YAY me! So at least if I have to argue my case on this one, I have a leg to stand on.

So. Life goes on. But sometimes I don't know how I can get through another day at that place.

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