|
recent entry
older entries
recommend
guestbook
contact
profile
host
design
I Read These:
loriville
trancejen
la-the-sage
Ladyloo
pandionna
chelonia
radiogurl
marn
wistful-blue
lorster
Who ARE these people?
| 2002-03-15 - 8:00 a.m.
They're coming to take me away ha ha hee hee ho ho
Yesterday was a frustrating day. So frustrating, I had one of my nearly annual cigarretes. It seems like any time I think I MIGHT just get a TINY handle on things, everything goes to shit. Yesterday, I noticed around 3:30 that the Associated Press computer hadn't received any new stuff since around noon. Went into engineering room and turned off the magic box, then turned it back on. Nothin'. So I grabbed the AP contact list and went to call them to tell them we needed a repair. Except the phone didn't work. I mean, give me a fucking break. Someone found out the super secret ritual and magic words we need to use to make a phone call, and I managed to get in touch with them. Weird technical shit happened all day. About 12:20, the boss came into the studio where I was working and said "we're off the air". Blink. Blink. "What? Why?" And I trundle down the hall to remedy the situation. I have no idea what caused the computer's brain fart. NO CLUE. It was a playlist that has worked perfecly for almost two months. Nothing has been changed. Why did it come to a screeching halt? I have no clue. THEN...on the way home last night, I'm listenind to the station....the very end of Marketplace got cut off, and we went to two minutes of silence. The carts that were supposed to play.....didn't. This too, has worked flawlessly, if not for months, for weeks. WTF?!?!? Then at a minute past, news came on like normal. I hate my life. I hate my job. I fucking hate that place. I had to go to the mall to pay one of my credit card bills yesterday. So I went during lunch. I don't ever want to drive in that parking lot...it's like a driver's ed movie...clueless people coming at you from all directions. Anyway.....there I am, at the mall, in the middle of the day, during the week. And I looked around at all the people....the people who were leisurely shopping and browsing. The people who were....free. They didn't have to go to jail like me. They could shop in the middle of the day! I feel like my entire life is a big waste. I go to work and spend my day being frustrated and annoyed. Then I come home to a house I don't have the time or energy to clean, and meals that come with a spork. That time and energy thing again.... So I was thinking, gee, maybe after we get married, and I get stuff paid off, and we get ourselves in good financial shape, maybe I could just work part time. Then maybe I could be free to wander the city at times other than weekends, when everyone else is doing the same thing. Maybe the house wouldn't have cat hair tumbleweeds. Maybe I could actually cook meals. But I don't think it will happen. First of all, the mere concept makes Beloved practically break out in hives.....too much pressure. The other thing is, since he's so much older than I am, he's going to be retiring some 15 or so years before me. So I'd like to retire earlier than 65, so I can spend time being retired with him while we're both young enough to enjoy retirement, and before I have to be his caretaker. (Good God. That sounds terrible! It isn't meant to!) SO to do that, I really need to work and save, once I get my debt taken care of. But it still feels like prison. Fund drive starts today. I think I will shoot myself. It's just uber high stress and cluelessness. After fund drive, it's rewriting the automation macros for the time change. (Because Indiana DOESN'T change time twice a year (fucking morons), and everyone else does, it really is as though we are the ones who change. I will rant about that some other time) After time change, Tiny Shorts goes on vacation for THREE FUCKING WEEKS. I can't even schedule four goddam days to have my teeth pulled. Oh yea, the next week, I'm just gonna be Mary Fucking Sunshine.
0 comments so far
|