| 2002-03-07 - 9:08 a.m.
Cash Bars are tacky and other wedding crap
I have become obsessed with cash bars. Rather, with spreading the word about how incredibly RUDE they are. Of course, you aren't allowed to use words like "rude" or "tacky" or "classless" on the wedding web site message boards, because that would hurt people's feewings, and we can't have that, can we? Have I bitched about this before? Probably. I am just continually boggled at the lengths people will go to in order to justify their own rudeness. And they THINK they're being polite by offering a cash bar. They have somehow deluded themselves into thinking that offering something and making someone pay for it is better than limiting what you, as host, offer. It is not. Do these people also have guests for dinner and say "well, we're serving chicken, but for another 5 bucks, you can have steak", or "well, if you want seconds on the entree, that'll be 4 dollars". Wait. Some of these people probably do. I hate cheapness. I find it one of the MOST unattractive qualities in a person. It's ugly. That doesn't mean people should be throwing their money around, but it does mean they should know how to be gracious hosts. I know, I know, easy for me to say, mom and dad are hosting my wedding. But you know what? If they weren't, Beloved and I would have an early afternoon ceremony, followed by a short afternoon reception with cake and punch and mixed nuts. That WE would pay for. It's no less gracious or proper than what we are having. AAAGHH. OK. I admit it. The planning stuff is getting to me. Planning a wedding is minefield of rules and regs and people being offended when no offense was intended. I hurt an old friend's feelings by not inviting her to be a bridesmaid. Well...she lives in England right now, and will be bringing her husband and three boys back just so she can attend my wedding....I thought that was more than enough effort put forth for little old me, and it meant a lot. When I found out she was disappointed, I apologized and told her where to get her dress! I just didn't want to impose on her, and ended up hurting her feelings instead. And the Meeting of the Parents. It will take place this weekend....his folks are coming to my folks' house, and Beloved and I will be making dinner. Why haven't they met yet? Well, the Official Rule is that the mother of the groom calls the mother of the bride. So my mom was waiting for a call, saying she didn't want to usurp Beloved's mother's place by making the call herself. Only problem is, Beloved's mother didn't know about the Official Rule. So she thinks my mom is dissing her or something, my mom thinks HIS mom needs to make the call....aaargh again. Since I am, despite being an impatient bitch much of the time, overly concerned with making everyone happy, this wedding stuff is stressing me out. How do I not piss off the people with kids when I tell them to use the kiddie jail, er, childcare we have set up? How do I not piss of people I don't choose to invite? I mean, I'm worried about Beloved's Transitional Woman's hurt feelings, fer cryin' out loud! Where IS my inner bitch? She needs to come out.
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