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2001-12-18 - 7:50 p.m.
odds and ends

Remember the entry from yesterday, about the guy who was all pissed at a commentary he heard on NPR? Well, I listened to it, and can't for the life of me figure out what could POSSIBLY have incensed this man enough to make him call, all frothing at the mouth about it. It was one woman's opinion, based on her experiences. I'm tellin' ya...this patriotism thing wigs me out.....

So I guess I don't feel so bad about not having my cards done yet....in the last two days, MY mail has contained a 1099DIV, a Newsweek and a Dish Network bill. Woo hoo.

Yeah, yeah, since I'm so dang mean, I s'pose it serves me right. But see, I'm not mean to the people I want in my life. I'm actually quite nice to them. It's just that I find in life there are so few people worth the effort. Yeah, yeah, I sound elitist and, well, just plain MEAN saying that, but it's true. I'd MUCH rather be alone than spending time with someone so vacuous that I WISHED I was alone. I don't have a lot in common with a lot of people....my life isn't Jerry Springer enough.

Tired today. Got up early to get my hair cut. It never looks as good the day it gets cut as it does after I play with it awhile. Actually, to correct that....it DOES look good when I leave the shop....and for about another, oh, hour. Then I look like Moe from The Three Stooges again.

My nose has been bothering me like crazy again today, which is part of the reason I am so tired. Is it possible to have allergies in the winter? Cuz that seems to be my pattern.....the summer is ok, and part of the fall, but the past couple winters have been pretty miserable, nose wise. Sigh. I don't really want to go to the dr....I'll get ANOTHER prescription, and I already feel like a hypochondriac. I have a script for the pill, one for Levsin, (for my stomach) and three for stuff for my face. I have more prescriptions than your average little old lady. But I can't keep taking all this sudafed....I'll have a stroke or something.

Why yes, I would like some cheese with my whine......

And it's official...there will be no "little box" for me from Beloved this Christmas. And that bums me out. It's been two years as of January 6th, and dammit, *I* knew he was the one a frickin' year ago. I've been ready, and I've been patient. Let's get the show on the road, people. Even J, a mutual friend who introduced us said today "two years?!? I'll say it's time for your promotion!" I hate not having control over the situation. I'm just supposed to sit around and wait until he's good and ready, I suppose. I hate that.

And at the same time, I feel very guilty for being---angry---upset---bummed out----whatever. I mean, what kind of person AM I to get upset over this? There's a part of me that wants to have a petulant little tantrum at him, to say "look, buster, I've invested a lot in this relationship, and I've been ready for the next step for a year, and I'm sick of farting around". But how horrible does that make me? (Oh God...I could go on Springer......)

I suck. I truly, truly suck.

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