| 2001-11-05 - 12:05 p.m.
Warning: mushy entry ahead
Feeling very fish out of water today at work. Very odd. Thank goodness the sun is shining and the sky is a lovely blue. Because Mondays are evil. In a burst of efficiency, I set up as much automation for the week nights as I can so far. So yay me. I am just feeling like I'm on a big poofy cloud of bliss since Beloved did his deed. Yes, that is hokey. I know. I had no idea how much this was weighing on my heart. I thought I was doing a good job of stuffing it down, of not letting it be an issue, but it was there, always, sometimes bubbling to the surface when I couldn't hold it down any longer. The relief I feel now is amazing. I feel ten pounds lighter. Oversharing ahead, be warned.... Until the phone call about work came yesterday, the afternoon was sublime. We came back from brunch, and I thought he was going to go home for awhile, as he usually does on Sundays. We had talked about perhaps going to the maul, but nothing definite. I was leaning against the back of the couch, hugging him, figuring I was saying goodbye. He looked at me with a flirtatious look and said "so. you wanna have sex?" Yeah, I know it's hardly the stuff of movies, but it was adorable, expecially because he's not too aggressive about that sort of thing. It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon, with the light filtering through the blinds, and it was magical. Just magical. The stuff of the books and movies. Last night, long after I should have been in bed, I sent him an email love letter. (Annoyingly, I didn't save a copy) It was pretty hard core mushy, ending with "I can't wait for the day when I sleep next to you every night, and feel your hand on my back gently waking me every morning". Bless his little tongue tied heart, here's the reply: "I wish I could say things to you like you can to me. I'm such a guy. All I can say is I'm so happy we are together. That we are "we" and "us" Love you- " He did ok, cuz it got me all misty.
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